Feds Take Back F-14 Tomcat Jets Sold at Gov't Auction

"As-Is" buyers got more than Navy intended

Yes, it's the latest escapade from the gang that couldn't shoot straight. When the fine folks running the affairs of the federal government aren't circulating improperly minted coins or selling off carelessly stored emergency trailers at deep discounts, they're auctioning decommissioned fighter jets that haven't had all the sensitive military gear removed.

(Cue Mx: Kenny Loggins "Danger Zone" from "Top Gun")

Okay, we're being a bit sarcastic. Sorry. Don't want to incite an I.R.S. audit, right?

But it is, at the very least, curious how four decommissioned F-14 Tomcat fighter jets, like the one Tom "Maverick" Cruise "flew" in "Top Gun," ended up in the hands of private citizens with some of their sensitive hardware still onboard. Yep, curious, though it is just the case, and the reason federal agents seized a mini squadron of the jets in Southern California this week.

The planes, which were phased out of frontline service in the mid-'90s, were sold at government surplus auction and made their way into private hands. A pair of those hands belongs to Don Bellisario, the producer behind the popular TV drama "JAG." He used his Tomcat as a prop. for the show, and, as props go, it was cheap, too. Bellisario told Judy O'Rourke of the L.A. Daily News that he paid $5,000 for his F-14.

"We dragged it around a lot...as far as I knew, the plane was (demilitarized)," he told the paper.

But his Tomcat, and the three that ended up on display at Yanks Air Museum and the Planes of Fame Museum at Chino Airport, were not totally de-clawed. Though they had no engines, federal agents said that the Navy failed to remove all of the sensitive, and even dangerous, equipment from the planes.

As the Daily News reported:

"In addition to security issues, safety issues became a concern because the jets' ejector seats and canopies are operated by pyrotechnic devices."

For now the planes are being hauled to Tucson, Arizona for further dismantling. Meanwhile, the ultimate fate of these once high-flying jets - including who gets to keep them - rests in the courts.

This mess got us thinking about the possibilities, though. Like, if you can get an F-14 for five large, imagine what they'll be asking a few years from now when they decommission one of those M-1 Abrams tanks? That's just the kind of whip that will end gridlock as we know it - for us, anyway.

(Photo of Planes of Fame F-14 as it appears on Clubhyper.com web site.)